Well as my previous post said I was living in Hades for a while. He finally did come home and was apologizing. During the night when he thought I was sleeping he was crying saying he doesn't know why he hurts me so. I know he is sorry but he doesn't know how to show me just how much he loves me when he is awake.
Things are always rocky this time of year because he hits is high/low point. It will last for another month or so. He is bi-polar but doesn't want to go see anyone with it or be on any meds. I wont leave him because of his illness because I wouldn't him to leave me because of my illness.
Yesterday we went to Unitarian service and class. It was nice to finally meet some of the people that have been of such help through-out my troubles.
It took me a ton of guts to go up and give my positive in my life. I was totally freaked out, turned red and was shaky. I was able to walk without to much trouble this is day two that I can do that. I do get worn out a bit but I do okay.
Its nice to be out of relapse now. I'm going to work on doing Tai Chi and Yoga again so I can lose some weight, have more balance and not being in so much.
I'm going to start my handwritten BOS. Mostly mine is all on the puter. I want a nice one to pass down to my daughter who wants to learn more. She is now in Kentucky instead of OK living now with her stepmonsters dad and his wife. She will never get her education and learn to rely on herself and not drugs. She wont be going through rehab. I'm totally upset with my ex. Because now I wont hear from her or see her for years. That's the way they work.
The stepmonster has convinced people I'm terrible, bad mother, drug addict and so on. I'm not any of them. Its funny that a woman who tries so hard to do all the things I do and then cut and dye her hair the same as mine. I really get tired of it. She has been doing this for 15 yrs now. You see she used to be my friend and then started having an affair with my husband at the time.
Well I'm going to go do yoga now and clean up some of the house so I can sew like mad.
Hugs and Witchy Wiggles
Witchy Fae
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